I was raised Lutheran. I attended church every Sunday with my family. I also remember attending Sunday school and I even went through Confirmation. Through all this I never really felt the connection to the Christian faith. I have read the bible, not cover to cover but how many actually have? The whole doctrine seemed a bunch of bull, to me at least. Now that was many years ago; I don’t doubt that there is an undeniable energy in the Christian faith. I have experienced it first hand by sitting with my family again at the church I grew up with, but I still am not Christian. Oops, I said it didn’t I?
Why do I call myself Pagan? I have thought about this before but I have never written about it. I think that I was destined to follow this path. That would explain my aversion to Christianity. I always liked the thought of magick even before I knew what it was. I flirted with an eastern religion while I was in high school but never kept with it. I think because I didn’t completely understand it and no one was around to explain it. I know that if I had found the trail head of my current path back then I would have been traveling it a lot longer than I have been.
I didn’t think of myself as Pagan at first. When I started down my path a few years ago I was working with Oberon Zell-Ravenheart and his online school, The Grey School. I labeled myself as a wizard. I worked on my studies and surrounded myself with all the trappings of what I thought it meant to be a wizard. I didn’t realize that some of these items were also associated with being Pagan. I bought the candles, athame, chalice, and other stuff. A conversation with a person at a spiritual retreat had me questioning exactly what path I was on and what it meant to me. After that retreat and experiencing the rituals there and talking to other people I realized that the label I had chosen, wizard, was not correct and that Pagan was more appropriate.
I began to explore what it is to be Pagan. I related to many of the aspects. I believed in the existence in multiple gods. I believed that we are all connected to nature and that we should respect it and honor it. I believe in the power of the Moon on us and her aspects.
After my first retreat and the revelations that came from it, I returned to the retreat and became involved in guiding young men through the coming of age ritual offered. This allowed me to explore my beliefs even further and realize that while I enjoyed being solitary for a time I needed something more and sought out a local coven. While working with the people in the coven I found my patron deities. Lady Hecate made herself known to me and I continue to honor her. Lord Cernunnos/Herne has made himself known to me but I believe he has always been with me in some sense since I have always loved all out of doors activities. I also have an affinity for herbs and their uses. I have sewn two robes, one white and one black. I have acquired a couple staffs, one given me by the forest the other found me at a local flea market. I have setup my sacred space and consecrated it with ritual. I try to live my life as a Pagan. I even take the title of Witch now and practice the craft of the witch. I celebrate the Sabbats and the Esbats. I welcome the Faeries in to my house and leave them gifts.
I am Pagan, I am Witch, and I am happy.
Blessed Be!
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